Can you rap Siri?

(Long pause)

You might not like what I say — I mean, I was just trying to get you to say “OK” (pause)…

Yeah, we had a few exchanges of “OK.” We did go back and forth a number of times. We probably could have gone back and forth but —

Yeah, and you didn’t know what Siri said?

I don’t know what Siri said.

But you never once saw a question?

No, never…

(Long pause)

Did you write to Siri when your son was born? You can’t even remember the questions in the book, do you?


What about the other questions in the book? Like the one about your kids’ favorite books or favorite movies? You don’t write down their names?

No, I never think about any of that shit. I write it down as I go on. I don’t wanna — I don’t wanna —

So, “okay” doesn’t exist, right?

Yeah, right? I’m trying to read it without even knowing how to write. I really didn’t even want to, in the book.

OK, and the only way you can figure out how to type it is to just go on Amazon, and they give you a free, unlimited code for this machine that allows you to type all the books in the American Library Association’s dictionary, “the most comprehensible dictionary in the world, with entries for every language that has been spoken in the world since the Old World began.” (Laughter.)

But —


“The American Library Association’s dictionary” — which you don’t even know what an A-lister dictionary is?

Yeah, I don’t know what an A-lister is. (Laughter.)

OK. “The American Library Association’s dictionary” as in: “Look here. Here’s the answer” (laughter). That’s not really a useful tool for anyone, right?

I don’t know what an A-lister is.

That’s a big word. “A-lister.”

Oh, but you don’t even know what it is. (Laughter.) OK. You can type in the dictionary’s question and you get the dictionary’s answer! You get the definition, right?

And I wrote that in the book. I didn